three large eggs, beaten
2 c. all purpose flour
for the pirogi filling:
six kinda big potatoes
1/2 stick butter, softened and salted.
2 c heavy whipping cream
2 - 3 cups of mild cheddar, grated.
4 small cloves garlic
salt and pepper to taste
for the sauce:
the white/light green ends of 4 large leeks, chopped and RINSED
---you may also use onions, but it changes the flavor a bit, so i don't recommend it.
1/2 of a roasted red bell pepper, chopped
4 large handfuls of fresh baby spinach
5 large cloves garlic
3 tbs butter
1 c. heavy whipping cream
1/2 c. dry sherry
1 tbs beef bouillon paste, dissolved in 1 c. room temp water.
salt & pepper to taste
1 tsp white pepper
1 tbs red pepper flakes (cayenne pepper will do, but cut it back by a third)
1/2 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp oregano
3 tbs bacon bits (or you can use fresh bacon, and i can give you an alternate instruction for that -- it does improve the flavor a lot.)
please also beat one egg and set aside in a small ramekin or cup or whatever.
sift the flour into your food processor, and then pour the beaten eggs into it. pulse the food processor until it forms a dough that balls up like this:
if it looks like hunks of sand, add regular old tap water one tablespoon at a time. when it works and does what the picture is showing you, dump it out on the counter into some flour and knead it until it isn't sticky anymore. it's going to feel like you're kneading it too much, because it'll feel like a small rock, but don't worry. that's just the strands of gluten getting long and tightening up.
after kneading, wrap the dough in a plastic bag or saran wrap, and WRAP TIGHTLY. set aside for at least forty five minutes so it can rest and so that the gluten strands can relax. please leave it somewhere not cold.
next, chop and boil your potatoes. make sure to rinse the starch off of them after they're chopped, or it turns into a mess. set them on the stove with enough water to cover, and boil them. chuck in the garlic listed in the potato part of the list above, and please stick them in whole. if you have some cheesecloth handy, this would be a good time to tie those into a bundle so they don't get lost in the potatoes. if not, it's okay. you can either pick them out and chop them or go on a search and destroy mission with your hand mixer later.
while you wait for that, take out your leeks out and cut off the green parts (save them! you can use them to make a delicious vegetable broth, which i will tell you how to do in the next recipe). slice them lengthwise, and before you chop them further, set them under cold running water and rise them out REALLY well. one thing about leeks is that because of the way they're grown, they often have dirt trapped in between the layers. afterwards, chop chop chop.
to roast a bell pepper, you have two options. the first, and slower way, is to baste it into some olive oil and put it into the oven, cut face down, and let it broil on high for about ten or so minutes or until the skins starts to pull away from the flesh of the bell pepper and gets black spots.
the second and faster way is really only available if you have a gas range. turn your smallest thingamajig on high, and set the bell pepper on top, skin down. using a pair of tongs, scoot it around until the skin is pulling away from the bell pepper and has black spots on it. you'll smell the tasty.
after this is done, put the bell pepper aside and let it cool. should only take a few minutes, and then you need to cut it lengthwise (make sure you remove the white nasty bits) and then chop it into relatively small pieces. unless of course, you like big pieces and then it's entirely up to you.
tear up your spinach into smaller pieces.
at this time, you should check on your potatoes. they should be fork destructible with little to no effort. if not, put the lid back and and back off.
see? falling apart. prime mashing material.
once they're done, pull them off the stove and drain them. while still hot, take your hand mixer and mash them up.
and now it's time for our food chemistry lesson. there's a really awesome secret to getting perfect mashed potatoes every single time.
so. we know that potatoes are a starch, right? well, starch is a molecule, and molecules have walls. when you cut, mash, or otherwise mutilate a potato, you break down those walls and they ooze their starchy goodness everywhere. if you mash them with liquid, the broken little souls of the starch molecules get all bound up in the fats from the butter and cream (or milk, if you're diet conscious), and form sticky webs. THIS little fact is why your potatoes get gross and rubbery when you beat the hell out of them trying to get those last lumps. if you do your mashing without liquid, the broken starch molecules aren't going to be held hostage by the evil fat gang.
so, instead of adding your liquids before you mash, leave them out and mash them before you add your cream and butter. you can make them as chunky or smooth as you like, just don't add your fats until AFTER you mash.
i couldn't find my handmixer, so i used a wooden spatula.
and then post liquids:
once you've gotten them the consistency you like, add your cheese, about a half cup at a time. stir them. don't worry about the texture too much at this point; the cheese is going to make it kind of gluey anyway so it doesn't matter. it'll relax in a bit. season with salt and LOTS of pepper to taste.
mmmm cheese.
your dough should be done resting by now, so it's time to put it to work. before you start to work it, feel the dough. do you feel how nice and soft it is now? it's not the resentful little lump it was when you left it in a warm corner, is it? that's because all of those stressful little gluten strands have had a chance to unwind, and they've smoothed themselves out. much like the muscle fibers in chicken, remember?
so. take the dough out and if you have a pasta maker, PLEASE use it. a pasta maker makes like so much easier. i love mine because it allows for a lot of creativity and i can make my dough as thick or thin as i like. if not, roll your dough into a log, and cut off about one inch. form it into a little square, and roll the hell out of it with a rolling pin. you typically want it to be about 1/8 of an inch thick. please remember that what you have here is uncooked dough, so the thicker it is, the longer you're going to have to boil it.
hi, i am a pirogi maker. get me.
if you don't have a pirogi maker, i suggest you go find one. it makes this job much easier. otherwise, here are my instructions:
lay your dough down on a clean section of counter, and put about 1tsp of your cheese potato mixture about 1/2 inch from the edge, and then continue placing those little potato presents about 1 inch away from one another. roll out another layer of dough about two inches wider and longer than your first, and set aside. with the egg i asked you to set aside earlier, dip a finger or brush or whatever else into it and paint around the edges of your potato presents. lay the other sheet of dough on top, press down along the edges of your potato presents with your fingers, then divide the thing you've just created into squares (like raviolis, dig?), and then press around the edges with a long tined fork.
lather, rinse, repeat until all dough is used.
empty out all of the potatoes if there are any left into a bowl and let everyone munch, or you can set them aside for another meal or what have you. rinse out the pot to get all the remaining potato bits, and then fill it with enough water to cover the pirogies. salt the water with about 1 tbs of salt, and bring to a boil. dump in the pirogies, and cook for about six minutes. just like pasta. when they're MOST of the way done (they'll still have this little funky layer inside that's kind of gritty, and you want that), dump them into the same strainer you used for the potatoes, and let them rest. in the meantime, YOU, my friend, are going to make a delicious.
with the same pot you used before (look? isn't this nice? one pot for all of dinner. it's like MAGIC.) over high heat, put in about half of the butter with half of the garlic i told you to use. please crush said garlic, for your sake and mine. when the butter and garlic is beginning to smell awesome*, toss in your leeks and peppers, and let those bad boys soften up a bit. the liquid will begin to reduce, and that's when you want to add your pirogies to the pot. stir them around GENTLY PLEASE, and then add the sherry. reduce a bit, add the cream, butter, and the rest of the garlic. add your beef stuff, then let reduce on medium heat for about ten minutes. the sauce isn't that thick at all, so don't worry.
*alternate universe recipe! if you want to be all fancy and use fresh bacon instead of bits (or prosciutto, or something equally lavish), chop up about 4 pieces of thick cut bacon and chuck it into the pot at this point. let it get to the point where you really want to stick your hand in and eat them all, scoop them out and set aside BUT NOT EATING THEM, and then add your leeks and peppers and continue with the recipe as written.
once it's reduced so it's not so watery (shouldn't be thick enough to coat the back of a spoon, but shouldn't immediately run off, either), add your spices to taste, and then add your bacon bits and spinach and let the spinach wilt and get all slippery. this is a fairly decent way to get rid of some of that slimy spinach, by the way. if you've got a package that you really don't want to eat because it's got some of those little slimy bits, you can put them in here and no one will know the difference, to a point. just don't put that one package that's nearly ALL slimy bits because you forgot that you had it in the back of the crisper bin. that's gross, and probably bad for you.
at this point, there is nothing left for you to do but eat. so go do it.
